Poster Review: Robo Vampire (1988)

The poster for Robo Vampire (1988), is easily the best thing about it. It suggests that RoboCop has gone full John Rambo whilst accidentally wandering onto the set of Big Trouble in Little China. Roughly 75% of the poster is explosions: it’s like GoldenEye 64.

I mean look at: rogue explosion propelled wheels tear through the air. Wild card rip through the flames, almost touching the out of control attack ‘copters. And the vampires adorn their most shocked faces (which make them look more like Carry On characters, admittedly), and flee on their helicopters. Whilst the titular Robo Vampire is a shiny metal badass, unphased by explosions.

But the film is not really any of those things. It’s not even about a vampire cyborg, but rather a cyborg who fights Chinese vampires…who don’t have ‘choppers  but hop around like bunnies. They work for an ape-vampire…who is in love with a half-dressed ghost, and works for a Taoist in the employee of a drug cartel.

As for that RoboCop-esque cyborg…well, just look at this Power Rangers reject:

robovamp002

It’s a Tomas Tang/Godfrey Ho ‘work’, if you were wondering why it feels like it’s at least two different movies Frankensteined together by the same dodgy scientist from this film.

Best thing you can do is print this poster off and use it as the cover of a cheap bootleg of RoboCop 2.

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